Seven dwarves, seven deadly sins, seven Wonders of the World, seven consecutive post-doc positions if you stay in academia…
Since seven seems to be a magical number, I stopped my list at seven. But there are so many archetypes to choose from! I’m going to talk about some of the archetypes I’ve encountered (seven, to be exact), since leaving Academia. Oh, how I long for the nutty professors I’ve left behind…
Seven dwarves, seven deadly sins, seven Wonders of the World, seven consecutive post-doc positions if you stay in academia…
Since seven seems to be a magical number, I stopped my list at seven. But there are so many archetypes to choose from! I’m going to talk about some of the archetypes I’ve encountered (seven, to be exact), since leaving Academia. Oh, how I long for the nutty professors I’ve left behind…
1. The Daeva – In my first draft of this blog, I had the word “Diva” here. But given the feminine connotation, I went with the less common known “Daeva.” If you dig old languages (and Wikipedia), you might be interested to know that the word daeva refers to “noxious creatures that promote chaos and disorder.” And for the purposes of my blog, I’ll extend the definition to “…chaos and disorder through behavior consistent with the belief that one is the self-proclaimed god(dess) of a particular institution or company.”
2. The Petulant Child – Oh, I’m sure we’ve all dealt with this one. This is the co-worker, or even worse a manager, who digs his/her heals into the ground on any given topic, even when (s)he knows that (s)he is headed down a fruitless path. (S)he just cannot admit that (s)he might have been wrong, and will hold steadfast for days, months, or years. This person will go on to throw a tantrum any chance (s)he gets. But beware, the petulant child is a pro. The tantrum is often quiet and sneaks up on you.
3. The Powerful Powerless – *sigh* This is when someone who has little or no authority is given a sliver of power over other people, and feels the uncontrollable urge to exert as much perceived power over subordinates as (s)he can get away with. Admittedly, it takes a special personality, but when the magical union of that personality, perceived power, and actual powerlessness come together, it is most certainly a perfect storm.
4. The Self-Indulgent, Spoiled Brat – This is the person who will spend more energy explaining to you why (s)he’s too important to do a particular task, than the amount of energy it would have taken to complete the task. This person also finds any reason to cry “It’s not fair!”
5. The “Squirrel!” – If you’ve seen the children’s movie where the dog is so very easily distracted from the task at hand by – you guessed it – a squirrel! then you know what I’m talking about. This is that brilliant person that you just can’t get to focus on a specific task. And sometimes the Squirrel is carrying an extra micro-management nut in its cheeks. It’s something you can see, but you’re not quite sure exactly what’s there at first…
6. The Omnicient – I would use the term “know-it-all,” but an Omnicient would probably correct me and suggest that I use the word omnicient. This person is condescending, and will boil with rage if you come up with a good idea before (s)he does. Alternatively (s)he will ignore your good idea as if it never saw the light of day. This person will nod at you to ensure that (s)he knows everything you’re saying already, even when it’s not the case.
7. The Conjoined Twin. You guessed it – that’s when one person strongly exhibits the characteristics of more than one of the Archetypes mentioned above. I would like to believe that three of these personalities just cannot exist in one person, so I’m stopping at twin.
So how do you deal with people suffering from these afflictions? That, grasshopper, I will cover in my next blog. Stay tuned…
